New year. New me.

17 things for 2017*

  1. No more pebbles
  2. No more socks 
  3. I will not growl or bark at what seems, to my humans, to be nothing
  4. I will eat my dinner, even if it doesn’t have poached, shredded chicken 
  5. I will stick to chewing my toys and not the miscellaneous items that do not belong to me 
  6. I will, however, continue to perch on top of human heads and lick their faces 
  7. I will continue to sleep in their room and will try my hardest to get on the bed with them
  8. I will continue to stare at them whenever they eat, in the hope that maybe – just maybe – they might share with me
  9. I will continue to prance after petals, butterflies and others alike
  10. I will continue to greet my humans with whole body shakes of excitement whenever they come home
  11. I will know my boundaries and try to improve my social intelligence. Not all dogs are as happy as I am, poor souls
  12. I will be braver and get in that water. If only for a second
  13. I will be more resilient on my daily walk: if I’m tired, I won’t sit down and demand to be carried. And if the lead gets tangled, I will keep going, I will not sit and demand to be realised
  14. I will cut back on post dinner ice cream or yoghurt 
  15. I will use my puppy dog eyes 
  16. I will be happy
  17. I will always be Me

* These have been projected onto me by my humans and I have no intention of abiding these or, dare I say it, understanding of any of this. I have no metacognition and therefore, am not self reflective. Lucky me!


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